You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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