I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
