a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
