I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
