Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
