And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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