How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
