She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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