you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
