a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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