oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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