i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I understand Curling. That high.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
