We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
