I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
