so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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