Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
