carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
