how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
