i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
