dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
