I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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