So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
