I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
