dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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