I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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