There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
