She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
