I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize