its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
