Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
