I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
