Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
