Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
