At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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