I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize