i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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