His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
