Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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