She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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