do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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