the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
