So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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