There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
