apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
