You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
