So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
