bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
