Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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