Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
