as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
