the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
