i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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