quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
