She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
that is very illegal...i love you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize