you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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