She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
