Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
