This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
