I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
