Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
