You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
