that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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